Old Town School – On The Road

Dispatches from the road from our wayfaring travelers.

A Wedding in Rajasthan

A few days ago we landed in Jaisalmer, a town in far western Rajasthan near the border with Pakistan. It is known as the “golden city” because all of the buildings and temples are made of yellow sandstone that positively glows in the desert sun. To our surprise and delight, our oud teacher and HR Assistant Ronnie Malley announced that he and his longtime girlfried Nicole, who is accompanying our delegation, had decided to get married! Pranita Jain took them shopping for rings and special wedding attire and arranged for a Hindu priest to officiate.

In late afternoon we gathered at the home of a musician in a tiny village way off in the desert. We were served tea and the whole village came to check out the party. The women went off to one of the houses — really huts made of clay and camel dung — to have a henna party. The guys were loaded into a few vehicles and headed off even farther into the desert, along with a whole wedding band and a chorus of about ten ten-year old boys. The priest marked off a sacred space (“Rama’s house”) in the sand with string and proceeded to create two beautiful mandalas, one made mostly of sand and rice and the other on a piece of cloth with rocks, coins, rice, flower petals and I don’t know what else. In loco parentis, my wife Phyllis and I were designated as Nicole’s parents and received multiple blessings, strings tied on our wrists, dots on our foreheads, and hand washings with bottles of Ganges river water. Reggio and Dan were designated as brothers and received most of the same; Mary became a sister and had several other tasks during the ceremony. The band began playing and the boys’ singing in the desert as the moon rose was rather enchanting.

Ronnie and Nicole arrived, Ronnie in a turban and brocade vest that he’d had made for himself that day, and Nicole in an outrageous sari. They were immediately garlanded with flowers and had their hands tied together in a scarf. The priest lit a fire right on top of one of the mandalas and the ceremony began. Of course none of us understood a word, but the flow of symbolism was urgent. As the priest chanted, Phyllis was given a box of ghee and was instructed to throw spoonfuls of it onto the fire every ten seconds or so. I was given a bag that contained — I think — dried, pulverized camel dung, and I likewise threw it onto the fire, maybe 100 or more times, while the priest chanted. Periodically, Ronnie and Nicole were asked to get up and walk together around the fire (not easy in a sari). The musicians sat by occasionally joining in the chant and obviously getting primed to play.

As soon as the ceremony ended, the music began, an entire catalog of music used for solemnizing weddings. By now it was pitch dark except for the wedding fire and a couple of gas lamps and the moon. The music was ecstatic and prolonged and the band included grandfathers and their grandsons. Except for the fact that we’d all arrived in motorized vehicles rather than on camels, this ceremony was probably pretty much exactly as it has been practised in Rajasthan for 1000 years. It was pretty primal.

After a couple hours we piled back into the cars and went back to the village where dinner was served, the multi-course extravaganza that we have gotten accustomed to here in India. It was a remarkable night, that I don’t think any of us can ever forget.

Filed under: India,Notes from Bau by Bau | October 9, 2009 | Comments (2)


2 Comments so far

  1. Colleen on October 14, 2009 8:03 am

    Congratulations Ronnie and Nicole!!

  2. Ronnie on October 18, 2009 7:10 pm

    Thanks Colleen!

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